


To Those We Have Lost

by SuperTempsRUs (JaskiersWolf)



Series: TenDonna Prompt Ficlets [7]
Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Ficlet, Mental Health Issues, Post-Episode: s04e13 Journey's End, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-20
Updated: 2020-02-20
Packaged: 2021-02-22 15:56:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22818805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaskiersWolf/pseuds/SuperTempsRUs
Summary: The Doctor is alone in the Tardis following his last battle with the Daleks... or so he thinks.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & Donna Noble, Tenth Doctor/Donna Noble
Series: TenDonna Prompt Ficlets [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1639510
Comments: 6
Kudos: 34





	To Those We Have Lost

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ALittleWrath](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALittleWrath/gifts).
  * Translation into 中文-普通话 國語 available: [To Those We Have Lost](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25127197) by [ChrisArieh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrisArieh/pseuds/ChrisArieh)



> Warning: The Doctor really isn't in the best mental state in this little ficlet. Proceed with caution.

The Doctor ran around the console, flicking switches and twisting dials in an attempt to make it look like he knew what he was doing. Most of it was all for show. The Tardis basically drove herself these days, well, she always had really. The more time they’d spent travelling together and the more their symbiotic bond had developed then the more likely she was to listen to him if he really needed to get to a certain place, and she did rely on him to keep them steady in flight but in essence he was never really in control. 

The console room was too quiet. It had been since… since the Daleks. 

“Oh never mind that.” He muttered as he pulled a lever slowly towards, driving them away from the edge of the vortex, he’d let them get a bit close there and she wasn’t ready to materialise yet. 

“So where are we going, Spaceman?” 

The Doctor looked up to see Donna leaning on a pillar in her long leather brown coat. The Doctor spun round to make sure there was no one else in the room. There wasn’t, but Donna was still stood there, smirking at him with sparkling eyes as if she’d never gone away. 

“What?” He looked at his best friend with a puzzled expression. How was she here?

“What’s up? Cat got your tongue?” She teased and crossed the room, circling the Tardis console and idly playing with the controls.

“But how?” He stammered. “You can’t be here.” 

Oh but how he wished she was. Donna was right. He didn’t do well on his own. It had been a couple of weeks and he still found himself talking to her when she wasn’t there. He’d not even managed to take what was left of her stuff down to the wardrobe. 

Donna laughed and moved to stand next to him. “I know that, Time Boy, but do you?” 

“Yes!” He snapped and whipped out his sonic screwdriver to scan his best friend. For the first time since he’d met her she didn’t protest, and he quickly realised why. There were no readings. She wasn’t really in the Tardis. “Donna. I don’t. That’s. That’s not possible.”

“Oh it’s quite simple.” Donna grinned. “I got all your memories, a Time Lord consciousness.”

“But. But that’s gone!” He protested. “I got rid of it. Otherwise you’d have died!”

“Not gone. Repressed.” Donna chimed. He realised this wasn’t the best friend he’d loved. This was the Doctor Donna. The best friend he’d never had a chance to know. “But when Davros hit me. I learnt something that I should never have learnt. I didn’t mean to, I hope you understand that, but I can’t unlearn it. We’re tied together now, Spaceman. Til death do us part.”

His eyes widened as he realised what she meant. “My name.”

She nodded. “She might not remember you, Spaceman but I’m part of you now.”

“No.” He closed his eyes and put his hands on the Tardis console to steady himself. 

“We can save her.” The Doctor Donna whispered in his ear. 

“No!” He roared and he felt the air ripple around him. “I can’t. Don’t you see I can’t!” He pleaded with his friend. 

He opened his eyes, hoping she was gone. It was too soon. He couldn’t handle this right now. He just wanted to move on and grieve. Like he had with Rose, and Martha and everyone else that had come before. Why couldn’t she let him go?

But her beautiful blue eyes with rings of fire were still staring back at him. Her hair was glowing with regeneration energy making her look like a phoenix or some kind of Goddess. It was all in his mind, he knew that but she just felt so real. 

“Oh don’t be stupid, Doctor. We both know even you can’t think of everything. That’s why the universe made me. The Doctor Donna, to think of the things that even you can’t think of.” The Doctor Donna tilted her head and put her hands on her hips in a way that was so very Donna Noble. 

He tugged at his hair anxiously, considering her suggestion. Could there be a way to save his friend? No. He’d have thought of it. How dare this figment of his imagination suggest he wouldn’t be able to save his own best friend! 

“You’re lying.” He spat and stalked away to the other side of the console, grabbing the mallet from its hook and giving the dashboard a good thump to make him feel better. 

“I’m not.” The Doctor Donna insisted. “Spaceman please.”

“Why are you lying to me?” He turned to face her with steely glare. He could feel his hearts thundering in his chest as his anger raged like an inferno. 

“Spaceman.” Donna started to say but he threw the mallet at her, knowing she wasn’t real, knowing he couldn’t hurt her. 

The apparition vanished as the mallet hit the Tardis wall. “Don’t call me that.” He whispered as he fell to the floor, tears streaming down his cheeks. “She’s gone. I can’t see her again. She’s gone!” He sobbed, heartbroken in the silence of the Tardis. 

unbeknownst to the Doctor, at that very moment in a small supermarket in Chiswick, Donna Noble began to cry. One moment she was browsing through different flavours of Pringles and the next moment her legs gave out from underneath her. Her head felt like it was going to explode, and she began to cry, harder than she ever had before.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry... this was a rough ride. 
> 
> Based on the prompt: “Why are you lying to me?” requested by ALittleWrath (chronic-pain-crowley on tumblr)
> 
> Again... part of my little challenge to myself to write a collection of short stories. If you ever want to send prompts then my tumblr is also Avengersbarnes :) I tend to write one shots around 6k if I'm not working on a longer story (like Ripples in Time).
> 
> Hope you liked it :) Let me know what you think.
> 
> \- Yaz


End file.
